May 23 2003

I wrote this in response to a Slash­dot art­icle about the Win­dows spy­ware pro­gramme Gator:

PRESS RELEASE: MICROSOFT INNOVATES IN NEW VERSION OF INTERNET EXPLORER

Store all your pass­words, fin­an­cial data and other per­sonal inform­a­tion on a cent­ral server! Never again will you have to remem­ber a pass­word or PIN, since you can con­veni­ently access all your data from a Microsoft server*! Microsoft have made it so easy for you by upload­ing all your data auto­mat­ic­ally, no ques­tions asked! In addi­tion, we use our pat­en­ted Mal­ware™ advanced arti­fi­cial intel­li­gence to ana­lyse your move­ments online and offer ser­vices tailored just for you! To make this as pleas­ant an exper­i­ence as pos­sible, we even share your data with third parties so that you are only offered ser­vices that suit your interests.

“Microsoft has always strived to deliver the best value for money in the industry,” repor­ted Tom Rort of The Gart­ner Group. “Microsoft products pay off big time for me! I’d give this release a rat­ing of five dollar-​​signs,” said Mary Swindle of The Aber­deen Group.

Once again, Microsoft has shown its com­mit­ment to look­ing out for the best interests of its customers.

* cost of retrieval is $US9.99 per trans­ac­tion, and since Microsoft already have your fin­an­cial data, we con­veni­ently deduct the money from your bank account auto­mat­ic­ally.

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Press Release — Microsoft Innovates in New Version of Internet Explorer / 'Til All Are One by Sridhar Dhanapalan is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike Australia CC BY-SA AU licence.